The fraternal relationship is one of the most complex relationships in life because it is not a choice but a given one. Adult siblings are often not affected by love, and the common cold is much more common. As an adult, what could be the cause of a loving childhood relationship as a field of indisputable debates and battles? Alienation is often rooted in poor communication skills, parental favor, and conflicts over money.
Of course, everyone knows at least one sibling who is not well with each other. Worse still, they are themselves; it’s easy to get caught up in controversial situations like “I did everything”, but is that really the case?
Dr. Kylie Aglyas, a well-known author of the book Family Alienation, believes that a number of risk factors can lead to strained relationships between siblings. According to the author, children raised in abused or neglected families are most at risk of alienation, as many of them live with parents whose parental style is quite authoritarian. These parents are very critical, often screaming, and often unnecessarily blaming the child. When even a large dose of narcissism is realized, parents often create a competitive situation and siblings face each other. Children raised in narcissistic families rarely feel safe even as adults, and they too easily become personally confused.
Children who have experienced some kind of trauma early in life are more likely to remain silent and unable to express their feelings, and this will be a decisive factor in all subsequent relationships.
Who is the parent’s favorite?
Children are also sensitive if parents prefer one child to another. Doctors say that only this phenomenon can lead to the common cold. Carl Palmer is a sociologist, gerontologist, and professor of human development at Cornell University. Her research shows that children are more aware of partial parental bias. When parents support their child, that sibling can become more selfish, and from there fraternal jealousy and meaningless enmity is only one step away. According to the professor, it is true that parents need to learn that family comes first and individual needs come second.
Poor communication skills are detrimental in all areas.
Alienation is also rooted in poor communication skills. It often comes from the parents, because if the parents are unable to express their feelings, if they are unable to talk about their problems, unable to apologize, or just calm down, then the children have no idea. There is no precedent for how a dispute should be resolved. That is why sometimes even a minor disagreement leads to a big debate because there is no solution in their hands.
Family values, ideologies, and opposites
If one of the siblings rejects family values, it can easily lead to alienation. If you have different views on religion, politics, or even sexual orientation. Some families simply do not tolerate deviations from family identity. According to psychologist Mark Sichel, families are often forced to use the term “we” to emphasize shared values.
Addiction, money, and care for elderly parents
Alcohol, drugs, depression, violence – these concepts are not liked by any family when they appear. Mental illness and addiction, which are often related problems, are not usually the only cause of the common cold, but they are the cause. Nor is it surprising that property issues often lead to rifts in fraternal relations.
Such problems affect many families, destroying fraternal ties. Current sibling fights can get worse as parents get older. Diversified topics such as parental illness, their health care, old age needs, and potentially unresolved wealth issues come to the fore. Then the situation in the already bad brothers can get even worse, because suddenly, against their will, they have to contact again, which will not do any good.